Suffering

There is a lot of pain in the world. Some people are sick, can't afford to get taken care of. Some people are dying of pollution. The stressors in the air induce stress, which comes out in the form of anger from some people.

More than three of my unrelated friends have told me that they feel a feeling of "healing" after talking to me or meeting me. I still think of that, oh the happiness I feel! You know the feeling when you feel like you reach your life's goal? That you did something right?
I just want to do it on a large-scale now. I know I am capable.

But this essay is not about me, it is about suffering. Well, who said me and suffering are different? Isn't the whole point of existence suffering? Some people say it the other way round, them hedonists! But it means the same thing. Suffering is the other side of the coin of which pleasure is one. But, even though I objectively understand this, something doesn't feel right.

How can I eat peacefully when I know so many people are starving on the sidewalks of the daily market? How do I smile when I see kids on the street smoking cigarettes? If I continue, you will ask me to end my life. Do I just loose myself in the happy haze and ignore everything 2 meters away from me? Heck, how do I sleep at night knowing I did nothing for anyone today. Actually, that is not true.

I did make my mom happy and made sure she took her medication, I did make my father smile. I did pick myself back up after a discouraging moment to create my personal website. I did, after all, reduce the suffering in the world. It was not much, but it was not nothing.

It makes me think, some things so simple, so simple that you can do them in your sleep can accumulate and make thousands of people's lives so much better. Why don't we all do them? Why don't we share our food once a month to someone who is crying on the street? Well, I still think of that old lady I saw before my birthday sitting on a bench alone, crying with eyes red. I remember trying to make my heart cold and not think about it. I also remember how my sister didn't and she proposed we should get something for her. And I still feel the peace I felt to see her smile, eat and you won't believe me when I tell you she offered us to eat with her. Of course we said we already ate. But, I am telling you, if you are an insomniac like me, do little things that make others happy - it will help you sleep better at night. Try to use that mind of yours to think of ways you can reduce the immense suffering in the world.

I don't believe in believing that you get back what you give. I believe in forgetting yourself for a moment and losing yourself in others' contentment.